Change: The Extrovert in Me

Have you ever gone through a change in life when you're just stuck kind of wondering, "Whoa, when did that happen?"  It might be a  change you notice yourself or a change that someone points out to you, but it's a change none the less. It can be a good thing, a bad thing or just something weird, like being able to finally grow out a full beard (still not me). 

Well, recently I experienced one of those really weird changes that I'm still trying to figure out myself, and honestly, still trying to figure out if it's even a change. So, here it is: I believe I have turned into an extrovert. There. I said it, and I can't believe it.  

For the longest time I've always considered myself to be extremely introverted. Why? Because I'm a pretty shy guy, I've always liked my personal space and I don't do good in large crowds. Now, however, I'm not totally sure that these three 'areas of my life' are where I get my energy from. Lately, it seems like the opposit. It seems like I get most of my energy from stepping out of my comfort zone, being around people and hanging out in large crowds, and I have zero idea when this changed happened. Maybe it's because I lived with 30 people for 10 months; I don't know. I just know that it's a weird change in my life, and I have no idea when it happened. 

I'm wondering how many other random, completely out of context life changes are set to happen in life in the future. Like, is this just a stage? Is it normal? Do other people experience such drastic randomness? Who knows, and who knows if there's truly any such thing as a true introvert or extrovert. Maybe we all have some of both and that's just something I'm just now noticing in myself and in others.  

Life's funny and so are personalities. Embrace change because you never know when it might happen.  

-Cliff

Cliff's Note: Change happens, even if it's grey hair, and it's okay.  

5 Ways to Become a 'Morning Person'

Waking up in the mornings is a funny thing. It's almost like waking up from time travel. One moment it's one day, and then the next moment, that day is gone and it's another day- all with the literal closing and opening of an eye. It's like going on this long 6 - 8 hour journey that usually feels like five minutes in which you don't remember anything about. Then, you open your eyes, wake up and feel like you've either been hit by a bus or had a long night of drinking the night before. 

Another funny thing about waking up in the morning is the way that it effects your thought process. Take for example this common situation: It's 6:30 a.m., and your alarm goes off. You push snooze because in your mind at that moment in time, eight more minutes sounds like an hour and sounds like if you can only get that eight more minutes of sleep, you'll be fully rested. Eight minutes goes by, your alarm goes off and you push snooze again. And again. And heck, you're already going to be running 30 minutes late, what's wrong with hitting snooze one last time? It doesn't even matter at this point, right? See, the mind does funny things when it's morning and your reasoning function isn't full awake yet. When I think about that situation now while I'm fully awake, I think it's dumb to push snooze that many times; I would love to have the extra 30 minutes to myself in the mornings so I don't have to rush around to get to work on time; however, if you ask me at 6 a.m. if I want that extra 30 minutes, you bet your bottom dollar I'm going to take it. It's like I'm two different people. 

You see though, I really do like mornings. I don't know if I'd call myself a morning person, but I enjoy the part of the day before anyone else is awake yet; it's so quiet, and I feel almost like I have the world to myself. The hardest part of it all is the first minute and a half of trying to convince myself to crawl out of my warm cocoon and put my feet on the cold, wooden floor so I can make my way to the kitchen. After that 90 seconds though, early mornings are worth it. 

So if you're like me and trying to get into the whole early-morning adulthood thing, here's a couple of bullets of advice:

• Start by setting your alarm just 15 minutes earlier each morning until you're used to the early times.
• Don't set your alarm to the tune of your favorite song; By day three you'll hate your alarm and you'll hate that song.
• Set your alarm far enough away form your bed that you have to get out of bed to shut it off.
• Don't give up, even if you still find yourself hitting snooze.
• Think about why you're waking up as you wake up, not why you shouldn't wake up early.
  

-Cliff

Cliff's Note: You snooze, you lose.​

For When You Feel Ripped Off

Today was a happy day! After 2.5 long weeks, I finally got my truck back from the shop after my little fender bender that happened a month or so back. I was so pumped! I finally got transportation back in my life without having to rely on my friends (sorry, guys), Ubers or walking everywhere in the cold January air. I felt the freedom flow back into my anxious, lead feet, ready to hit the road again to drive around and see friends here and there. But then. . . I saw the bill. 

You know how sometimes you're like, "I bet I know what this is going to cost," (you know, because of estimates). Well, I did NOT know what this was going to cost me because the estimate they gave me was a lightyear away from what it ended up being. Long story short, I left the shop feeling PUMPED that I actually got to drive my own vehicle home, but by the time I got home, I felt broke as a joke and kind of ripped off, outweighing said PUMPED feeling momentarily. 

This circumstance provided a chance for me to do a heart check on myself by asking the question, "How should I respond when I feel like someone rips me off?" It's a question we should all ask because, eventually, we're all going to feel ripped off at some point.

Should we be angry? Do we say something, or better yet, do we retaliate? Should we pretend like nothing happened and just move on to the next thing with a little less cash in our pockets? WWJD? Do we make a vow to never use a business again? There are just so many options, thoughts and feelings, but which one is the right one? 

I'm still not sure, and I'm still not totally sure how I'm going to respond, but I know this, as angry as I was about it, I don't want to be angry, and as much as I wanted to walk back into the shop and demand to know why the cost was so much higher than predicted cost, I don't want to be a demanding person. I actually want to be the opposite of those types of things; I don't want to be angry or demanding, and I definitely don't want something like money getting me down in the dumps. There are bigger things to worry about and other things I'd rather be known for. 

Looking back on it now as the anger has flared down and I've asked myself that question, there's probably a logical explanation for what happened between the estimate and the actual. Going in there with my agenda and my thoughts on how they should fix it probably won't make any difference, and, honestly, I probably don't know enough about cars or the situation to justify anything. With that, I guess the best way I can think to respond when it feels like someone has ripped you off is to step back, let the anger flare down and begin to think logically, not emotionally, about the situation at hand. Weigh the facts and try to see things from the other side of the fence. Sure, you may and I may get ripped off, but in the end, aren't we supposed to turn the other cheek and give someone our shirt if someone takes our coat? 

Sometimes we're going to get the short end of the straw, but that's okay. Life happens, and in time, everything works out. If you feel ripped off, take a breath, step back and think about what happened and why the other party did what they did and why you're responding the way you're responding, then, if they have ripped you off,  rip off some kindness and send it their way. 

-Cliff

Cliff's Note: If you feel ripped off, rip off some kindness. 

How to Make a Frozen Pizza Without Eating Wax Paper

There's something about being a young bachelor and frozen pizza that go hand-in-hand. If you're under the age of 30, a male, unmarried  and have no one to cook for other than yourself, odds are, you probably eat frozen pizzas on a semi-regular basis (semi meaning at least once a week, maybe twice if it's cold outside). In my book, frozen pizzas are right up there with dogs as man's best friend, maybe even better because you don't have to feed them; they feed you. They're convenient, quick and great for any occasion, except, when they betray you. Tonight, I was betrayed by my frozen pizza.

Like most people, not just single guys, I don't like doing dishes, so I do anything I can to alleviate the number of dishes I do. When I make a frozen pizza, this involves one key thing: Placing aluminum foil between the pizza and the pizza pan so there's no pan to wash after the pizza is done. The foil protects the pan from the pizza crumbs and cheese, and you can just slip it back into the cabinet; it's a great concept if you haven't tried it. Anyway, this time, I was COMPLETELY out of aluminum foil, so I decided to try using the next best thing: a wax paper baking sheet. 

Except here's the thing; a wax paper baking sheet wasn't the next best thing.

You see, I feel like there's a little bit of misleading information in the term, "wax paper baking sheet." One, because wax tends to melt when it gets hot, and two, because baking involves heat. Heat and wax don't mix, so why are there wax baking sheets? Heck if I know, but I know I won't be using them again anytime soon because this happened:

I ate an entire sheet of wax paper. Literally, an entire sheet. How did this happen, you might ask. Well, let me tell you. I forgot that I had put the wax paper under my frozen pizza when I put it in the oven to bake at 400 degrees for 17 minutes, and apparently, the wax paper baked into the crust, because that's what happens when wax gets to 400 degrees; it melts. I didn't even notice or remember I'd put wax paper under it until I'd gotten to my last slice when I pulled a sliver of the paper out of my mouth because I noticed I was chewing on something that wasn't pizza. That's how it happened. That's how I ate an entire sheet of wax paper in one sitting.

I don't really understand how this happened. I've seen my mom use baking sheets hundreds of times, for cookies, bread and all sorts of stuff, so I don't know why my baking sheets melt and hers don't. Technically, I don't really know anything about baking or cooking, and I don't really have a 'Cliff Note' or a moral to this situation or story either, other than this: If you're under the age of 30, a male, unmarried and have no one else to cook for, and you like frozen pizzas, save time on dishes by putting something between your pizza and your pizza pan, but whatever you do, don't make that something wax paper. Otherwise, you'll eat, and you won't even know it until it's too late.

Cheers.

-Cliff

Cliff's Note: Wax melts when heated. Don't heat it, or you'll eat it. 

Trading a Birthright for French Fries; The Short-Sightedness in Our Decision-Making Process

Waiter: "What would you like with your sandwich? We have salad or fries."

Me: (thinking to myself) "Why am I having to choose from two of the most different foods in the entire world as a side? Is there no middle ground?"

Waiter: *waiting*

Me: "I'll have the fries."

I think we've all faced this situation before. The waiter asks you what you want for a side, and you can pick one of two options: The healthy option or the unhealthy option. Rarely is there ever a middle ground. One option, the healthy one, will be better for you in the long run. It's full of veggies, vitamins and freshness that ultimately, will be better for you. It's the option that you'll feel better with after you leave the restaurant and count as a win for the day as far as trying to eat healthier. The other option, the unhealthy one aka: fries, won't be better for you in the long run, but it's also the option that will satisfy what you want at the moment. The fries are the option you pick immediately because you know they'll taste the best, even if it'll cost you some health points at the end of the day. In the moment, it's easy to see the fries as the most satisfying option, but then later, it hits you. All that grease. All that fried-ness. All that artery clogging joy.

We're all faced with these kinds of decisions ever day, decisions that can either give us immediate satisfaction or decisions that require patience. We have to make choices that can either give us joy in the moment or choices that we have to wait and be patient for. Usually, it's the choices that require patience that are the tougher option, and it's also those choices that, usually, lead to the better result, like salad compared to fries. 

I read a story about this today, kind of. It was a story in Genesis of two young guys, one named Esau, and the other one named Jacob. They're twins, but Esau is the older of the two, so accordingly, he received the birthright of being the first born male. One day, Esau came home from work and was hungry, and he saw Jacob cooking some stew, so he asked for some. Jacob, being sly, said he would give Esau some soup if he would sale him his birthright right then. Esau, being hungry, and maybe slightly ignorant, obliged to Jacob's request and swore his birthright over to Jacob. Esau got his soup and Jacob got the birthright. Esau sold a lifetime promise for a moment's satisfaction without a second thought. 

Now, any normal person, or me on any day of the week, would look at this situation and say that Esau made a terrible move trading some Campbell's Cream of Mushroom for a lifetime of right of possession and privilege. It's easy to say he made a stupid decision and didn't think through what exactly he was doing; however, how often do we do the same thing whenever we're faced with temptation? We trade a moment of immediate satisfaction for a lifetime of promise. We want the soup, not the birthright because that's what's in front of us. In our short sightedness, we want what will satisfy us immediately, not what's best for us in the long run. 

It's easy to get lost in short-sightedness in our decision making process, whether it's order a side order to go with a sandwich, or in the face of temptation when it comes to choosing to sin or not to sin. We too easily associate the positives with what we ultimately  know is going to be a negative situation, rather than the negatives. If we want to help our decision making process, adjust your sights, look long-term and weigh both the positives and the negatives; don't just focus on the instant gratification. Look at the ultimate, lifelong promises at hand, and don't sacrifice those for something that will only temporarily satisfy your desires. A lifetime promise is greater than a moment's pleasure. 

-Cliff

Cliff's Note: If opening a restaurant, include something other than just salad or fries on the menu. Add a middle option too. Like apple sauce.  

'The Secret Life of Walter Mitty' & Travel Dreams

Last night, I watched the movie, 'The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.' It's a great flick, and easily one of my new favorites. It's one of the few movies out there I can watch more than once and not get bored with, not to mention, it has an absolutely perfect soundtrack to go with it. Essentially, the movie is about a man named Walter who works for Life Magazine. He spends his days day dreaming a lot because he doesn't do anything exciting in real life, except work, until he loses an important photo for Life's final print magazine cover. He ends up traveling to Greenland, Iceland and the Himalayas searching for this photo, battling sharks, drunk helicopter pilots and volcanos along the way. Needless to say, his life goes from boring to full-on pretty quickly. It's a great reminder that 'Life' doesn't have to be a boring routine, and that it can be an epic adventure at any moment. All it takes is a few leaps of faith. Anyway, anytime I watch this movie, it makes me want to stop whatever I'm doing and get on the next flight possible leaving the nearest airport, which can be both healthy and unhealthy. It does another thing too. It makes me dream of what I think I want my life to look like.

I think if I had a dream life it might look something like this: 

Seeing the world and meeting the people in the world would be the highlight. The jobs I would have would be temp jobs that wouldn't require a long-term commitment but paid enough to have a small apartment. I'd be able to work until I'd saved enough money to travel to a new place. Then, I'd sell/give away some more of the stuff I'd acquired, move on and start the process all over again. I wouldn't really want to own a lot, maybe just a couple of suitcases of clothes- one for winter and one for summer, a laptop for writing, a camera for pictures, a few books and a phone to stay in touch. And an orange VW van. Definitely an orange VW van.

The trouble with this dream life is that it doesn't seem plausible. It doesn't really provide any way to get health insurance, have a family or prepare for any sort of retirement. Not to mention, there isn't really any guarantee of a new job each and every time I want to find another one after a stent of traveling. It also seems kind of selfish because it all centers on me. 

Living a life full of traveling, telling people about Jesus, seeing the world, writing, taking photos and working in temp jobs sounds like a dream, but is it? Sure, it would be the perfect life to live if I wanted to match it up perfectly with the ultimate Indie playlist on Spotify, but how realistic of a life is it, not just for me but for those around me? After all, mom and dad won't always be around to cover my back if things don't go according to plan. I'm not sure, but a life like this seems a little iffy. 

I'm not sure what exactly shaped this life dream of mine that lacks permanence and realism. Maybe it's the fact I just have the travel bug, or maybe it's something deeper. Maybe it's because, in the words of Switchfoot, "I'm just looking for a world where I belong." I think I'm at a stage in life where I'm still trying to figure life out. I'm at a stage in life where I'm learning that this world really isn't my home, and no matter how many places I live or how many times I scratch my travel itch, I'm still going to have that refugee feeling in my soul. I'm still going to have that unfilled feeling of not belonging that only eternity will be able to fulfill. Until then, I'm still going to have these unrealistic dreams of traveling/living that are unrealistic because the reality is, traveling the world and seeing it all doesn't ultimately satisfy one's heart's desire. My ultimate heart desire can only be met one day in eternity when I finally enter a world I belong in with my Creator. Then, maybe then, my travel itch won't itch any more. 

-Cliff

Cliff's Note: Don't watch 'The Secret Life of Walter Mitty' unless you want to get the urge to drop whatever you're doing and get on a plan and go to Greenland. 

The Eye of a Needle

I spent my Saturday fishing. I hopped in my little rental, blue smurf car and headed to a lake that's about 20 minutes out of the city called Lake Keystone. It was supposed to be the warmest day of the MLK Day long weekend, so I decided to take advantage of it.

On my way to the lake, I had the radio tuned to a country station, and a song came on called 'Buy Me a Boat.' In the song, it has this lyric that says, "​I keep hearing that money is the root of all evil, and you can’t fit a camel through the eye of a needle. I'm sure that’s probably true, but it still sounds pretty cool." Now, I'm sorry if this offends you, but I totally fall into the category of believing that country music has some of the simplest/lamest lyrics out there of all the genres. I still enjoy it, but still. The lyrics could get better, especially lyrics like this.  

Anyway, the reason I point this lyric out of this song is because I thought it was super ironic that it was talking about threading something (a camel)​ through the eye of a needle, while I knew I was going to be practically threading needles all day fishing. 

You see, when you fish, you break lines, and when you break lines you have to tie new hooks on, which is, essentially, the most difficult part of fishing. It's tedious, time consuming and takes a steady hand, especially the part of putting the line through the eye of the hook. 

The line from the song is quoting a verse out of the Bible in which Jesus says it's easier for a camel (A CAMEL) to get through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. This description became a reality for me today as I spent a lot of my time tying hooks, rather than catching fish. It was surprising a lot more difficult than I'd remembered trying to get that tiny fishing line through that tiny hole of the eye of the hook. If it's that difficult to get something that small through an eye, I can't imagine what it would be like trying to get a camel through there. Fat chance of that happening. 

I say all this to say, I totally see where Jesus is coming from. I totally get how hard it is to not rely on yourself and rely on God when you have loads of money. It's easy to rely on yourself when have the capabilities of gaining the world yourself. It would almost seem unnecessary to rely on God. ​It makes sense that wealth is that big of a barrier to knowing God fully. I hope it's a barrier that I can avoid, and I hope it's one the guy who sings the song 'Buy Me a Boat' avoids too. 

​-Cliff

Cliff's Note: On the whole, country music needs to work on its lyrics. 

Skies Out Fries Out

I'm not sure if you noticed or not, but the weather outside today was absolutely amazing. The sun was out, it was warm and there wasn't any wind. For Oklahoma in the middle of January, that's pretty stinkin' good. I'd forgotten just how much of a blessing warm days in the middle of winter are, not just because it makes for a beautiful day, but because it provides a lot of relief for a lot of people who need a break for the cold.

Anyway, during today's beautiful sunshine, I met a man; let's call him 'Dave.' Dave was sitting on the sidewalk, up against a restaurant here in Tulsa called McNellie's soaking up the sun. He was wearing some black shoes to go with his black sweat pants and Chicago Bulls jacket, and he had a hat on to keep the brightness out of his face. I had just finished up eating at McNellie's when I caught sight of him as I swung out the door and headed down the sidewalk with a group of co-workers. We had just finished up at an employee's farewell lunch.

Dave was sitting by himself, not talking to anyone or doing anything, just sitting there smiling. He looked happy, so I stopped by him to say hello. He returned the greeting with a smile and asked if I had a couple of bucks to spare so he could go buy some french fries. Being a lover of french fries myself, I had to oblige. We talked about fries, what he was up to for the afternoon and sunshine for just a minute or so, but I don't think I've ever met anyone so content with simply sunshine and french fries.

Dave talked about how happy he was that he was getting a break from the cold weather and how he was ready for spring, and I couldn't help but realize just how big of a deal it was that he was getting a dose a spring time early. It was a small thing, but at the same time, a really big thing. It was a reminder that all cold seasons come to an end and have their moments of relief, just like all 'cold' seasons in life have their end and their moments of relief, and we should enjoy those moments and be thankful for them, basking in their sunlight.

It's easy to go through life enjoying the sunshine and not being thankful for it, just as it's easy to go through life not enjoying the cold and complaining about it; however, take some advice from Dave: "Take shelter when it gets cold and be extraordinary grateful when it's sunny. Life's gunna have its cold, and it's going to have its hot, so enjoy what ya got."

Dave was a cool guy; I hope to run into him again soon. Maybe we'll get fries.

-Cliff

Dave's Note: "Take shelter when it gets cold and be extraordinary grateful when it's sunny. Life's gunna have its cold, and it's going to have its hot, so enjoy what ya got."

Why We All Love Vintage

A while back, I was staying at my family's cabin in Colorado for a few days over the summer. It's an old cabin, built in the early 1900's with two bedrooms, a kitchen, a bathroom and a living room. It has the smells of fresh aspen and mountain air, making it better than living inside of a candle. It's full of squeaky floorboards, absent of cell phone reception and hooked up with tons of old mountain memorabilia. Frankly, it's one of my favorite places to go "get away" from everything.

Another thing this cabin has is an old rotary telephone. I don't know if you've ever seen one of these before, but essentially, it's a phone with circular dial board that, in order to dial, you have to place your finger in each number's place and slide it around the circle until the number you want dialed hits the end of the circle. Now, these kinds of phones are pretty old (I say that not to offend anyone that's lived in the era of rotary telephones, but to state just how far technology has come). They're old enough, in fact, that I went through life without knowing how to use one, so when it came to using the rotary phone at this cabin, I was clueless. I just thought, like most phones now a days, you just had to press the button where the number was you wanted to dial, and it would work; that's not the case. Needless to say, the first time I tried to use the rotary phone, I sat there for several seconds wondering why the phone wasn't dialing, ringing or connecting me call. For the first time in my life, my parents knew how to use a piece of technology that I didn't know how to use. For the first time in my life, I became aware that something so old could seem so new.

Old things seeming new is an interesting phenomenon. It's 2016, and we're all obsessed with things from 1916. Our culture loves vintage, retro, throwback and old-school memorabilia. We're intrigued by the nostalgia, the uniqueness and, frankly, the awesomeness of things from days past. Whether it's record players, vintage clothing or typewriters, we all love things from the past, and a lot of the things we love from the past can teach us something in the present. 

Past things, no matter how old they are, tend to hold some sort of relevance today, and past things, no matter how old they are, can seem brand new to us when in all actuality, they're quite old. Just how old things seem new,  the Bible is the same way. It was written hundreds of years ago, yet still, somehow, it speaks newness to different people all over the world every day. Just like I was able to learn something new from a 50-year-old telephone, I'm able to learn from a thousand-year-old book. No wonder we all love vintage; we learn things from it.

-Cliff

Cliff's Note: Don't discount anyone or anything because of age or place in time. There are things to be learned from the past.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Life is made up of mountaintops, valleys, clear paths and tunnels. We all walk through the valley of the shadow of death sometimes, and we all see glory from the top of mountains other times. 

When you look at life this way, you begin to see it as an adventure, and just like most adventures, not everything goes right all of the time. You have to overcome obstacles, and you have to look for the light at the end of the tunnel to keep pressing on sometimes. It's that little light that gives hope. 

Keep pursuing the light at the end of your tunnel, no matter how far away it may seem. Press toward the light in life because it's the light that casts out darkness.  

-Cliff

Cliff's Note: Resist the dark and pursue the light.  

The Truth Behind 'the Older Ya Get, the Faster Time Goes'

I never really believed it until now, but I think it's true; The older you get, the faster that time goes. The seasons change faster than ever before, with leaves falling off and then returning before I can even get used to the cold weather. 

When I was younger, time seemed to be ran by sloths. It went so slow! I remember how it seemed like an eternity just waiting for my birthday to roll around each year. Now, that's not the case. First it's another new year, then before I know it, it's another birthday, and I'm one year closer to 100. It's a phenomenon that I don't quite understand.  

The faster time goes by, the farther behind I feel. I don't feel caught up with where I'm supposed to be in life, and I definitely don't feel like I'm 24 years old. It's still 2008, and I'm still 17 in my mind. 

Where does time go? It seems like just the other day my biggest concern was graduating high school, and now my biggest concern is about how to prepare for a family. It's crazy. 

I really believe it's true though; I think time moves faster the older you get, not literally, but seemingly. I think time goes by faster the older you get because the older you get the more perspective you have on time and just how precious it is. The older you get, the more you realize the truth behind the idea that time is a person's most valuable thing.

As you ring in the New Year tonight, take a moment to reflect on just how crazy it is that another year has come and gone and just how fast it happened. If you feel like time is flying by, it's because it is and because you're beginning to realize just how precious life is. It's something to celebrate.  

-Cliff

Cliff's Note: Time feels like it's flying by because it really is. 

Why Being Humbled is Like Being a Nobody

It's funny how small you feel when nobody knows who you are. ​

You may have experienced this feeling if you've traveled to another state or another country by yourself. Heck, you may have experienced it your first day of college walking into a classroom with no one you knew in it. It's this awkward, humbling feeling of, "wow, I'm literally a nobody."​

I experience this feeling the first time I moved out of state after college. I moved to Seattle, WA from Stillwater, Okla. In Stillwater, people knew me. I was a successful college student who knew a lot of people on campus, in church and in the community. I'd established a reputation, if you will. However, as soon as I moved to Seattle, I was a nobody. No one knew who I was, no one knew who 'Pistol Pete' was, and hardly anyone even knew where Oklahoma was. Talk about a humbling moment when your fun fact is, "I used to be Pistol Pete," and the person looks at you like you're crazy and asks who that even is. ​

It was even worse when I moved across the big pond. People thought the idea of anyone carrying a gun, much less a mascot, was a crazy idea. People had no idea who I was, where I was coming from and could hardly believe I'd never been to our nations capital because, "doesn't everyone have to go there?" There's nothing that makes you feel small like moving away from home. ​

Feeling small and moving away from home have their perks though. It's like you get a clean slate. People don't know you, so you kinda get to start over. I'm not talking about in a way that you should change who you are, but more along the lines of the opposite. You're in a place where you don't have to try to be someone you're not anymore. You're in a place where you can truly be you (hopefully you're already truly being you, but if you're not, it's a fresh start). 

There's also something about needing to be humbled. I think it's something we all need to experience- I sure did. I was up on my high horse thinking I was all that and a bag of cow chips when suddenly, I was no one. I needed that. I needed to be reminded that the world is big, I'm small, and I'm only here for a short period of time in a small place ​in a big world. 

Sometimes God humbles you Himself, and sometimes He has His creation do it for him. 

-Cliff​

Cliff's Note: The world is big. You're small. Be humble. ​

4 Keys to Developing Discipline into the New Year

Waking up in the morning can be a chore. So can making your bed, exercising, cooking, reading and other things in life that, in the long run, are really good for you to do; however, these things take time and take effort, and they all have one thing in common; They require discipline.

Lately, I've struggled with taking the lazy train to life. I've slept in longer than I've wanted to, making getting to work on time stressful, I haven't exercised in who knows how long, and I can count the number of meals I've cooked for myself over the past month on one hand. Needless to say, I'm not happy with where my discipline level currently is, so to celebrate the New Year and New Year's resolutions, I've come up with a few keys to help myself get back to being the disciplined person I like to be. Maybe you'll find them helpful, as well.

1) Set a Schedule
In order to start practicing discipline in your daily routine, you have to set a schedule and start at the basics. Whether you're looking to eat healthier or start exercising regularly, it's important to set aside some times throughout your day to do these things. Even if it means just waking up 15 minutes earlier to make a fresh salad to take for lunch, rather than hitting up Taco Bell at noon, setting a schedule and planning a head is a key to start living a more disciplined lifestyle.

 2) See Discipline as a Means to Dreams
We all have goals, whether it's to complete an 'Iron Man' Triathlon or just to simply wake up by 8 a.m. every morning. Goals come in all shapes and sizes, but one thing all goals have in common is that they all require discipline. If you want to accomplish something, it's going to take effort, and odds are, it's not going to happen over night. View discipline as the helpful means to your dreams. Without it, it's unlikely those dreams will unfold, and you can bet that anyone who's doing what you one day dream of doing got there with lots of time, effort and discipline.

3) Start Small
Disciplining yourself isn't easy. If it was, it wouldn't be called discipline. If you're looking to start making improvements in your life that require discipline, start small. Don't set yourself up for 'failure' by promising to do a lot of life changing things all at once. Start with something basic, like exercising twice a week, and build up some victory confidence, and then move forward. It's easier to practice discipline with a winning attitude, rather than a losing once. Take the small victories and go from there!

4) Don't Be Too Hard on Yourself
Like all things in life, sometimes there's failure. Pursing discipline is no different. There are going to be days when things don't go according to plan and that the discipline you're chasing after turns into a touch of laziness. When that happens, don't let it get you down. No ones perfect, and we all need rest. If your pursuit of discipline takes a trip on the lazy train for a day, don't beat yourself up. Get back on track and pick up where you left off. Don't give up and don't ditching your discipline.

With the New Year approaching and everyone starting their New Year's resolutions, start a simple one for yourself; Look to live a more disciplined life in at least one area you want to improve on. For me, it's going to be getting my butt out of bed before the sun comes up. Will it happen over night? No, but that's what discipline is for. Good luck on all of your New Year's Resolutions, and feel free to share some below!

-Cliff

Cliff's Note: Discipline is the means to dreams. 

The Normalization of Narcissism

If I went back in time 15 years and told someone that in just a few short years, 1 out of every 5 people on the entire planet would have a webpage dedicated to themselves, I wonder if they would believe me? 

Honestly, it still kind of blows my mind, but according to an article I was reading on IBT, Facebook has somewhere around 1.39 billion users. That's crazy! . . . especially when you compare it with the number of people in the world living without electricity or clean drinking water. It's mind blowing that so many people, myself included, basically have websites dedicated to ourselves. I'm not saying that these websites, Facebook pages or Instagram accounts are evil, but there's certainly something to be said for the world containing as many Facebook pages as there are people that have access to any form of electricity.

We've all created pages, essentially, dedicated to ourselves that keep our eyes glued down to ourselves, rather than up and looking at others. We take photos  and become good at storytelling, but bad at storyliving. We post those photos of ourselves and our experiences, and when we get a better photo, we post that one. We obsess over what will get us the most likes, and when we sit around with our friends, our phones are in hand, and sometimes the only conversation that happens consists of asking the question, "What should I caption this?" 

Yours truly is guilty first and foremost of all of this, which is why I'm asking the question, am I a part of the most narcissistic generation?

Narcissism is, at its core, loving oneself. It's self obsession and infatuation with, not just one's appearance, but one's self importance. Narcissism is the driving force behind my need to check social media, not to see what other people are up to, but to check to see how many 'likes,' comments or compliments I, personally, have received. Rarely am I checking because of what other people post, but I check it because I want to make sure other people have seen what I've posted. Essentially, I love myself, and I want to make sure other people do too. I've become so focused on making sure that the stories I'm telling on my social media accounts and blog are exciting that I've forgotten to focus on the exciting world and people around me. Pretty sad, huh?

Confession: Even writing this will fuel my narcissism. I'll post it on MY website, link it to MY Facebook and Twitter accounts and then I'll check on it every hour or so to make sure I'm getting good feedback on MY thoughts. Narcissism at it's finest, but even worse than that, all of what I just said, frankly, sounds normal. Narcissism has become normal.

The scary thing about all this is that there's this verse in the Bible that warns us about narcissism becoming normal in our culture. 2 Timothy 3:1-5 says, "But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be loves of self. . .  having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people."

This scares me because it sounds just like me and just like a lot of my generation; however, at the heart of my generation, I don't believe we're aiming to be narcissists. I believe we're aiming to be good storylivers and good storytellers; it's just that often times, we get too caught up in telling our own stories, rather than listening to other people's stories. So, next time before you press the 'publish' button on your social media account or pull up your webpage to see how many 'likes' you've received, focus on something someone else has already published and what's being published right in front of you in real life. Don't pursue self-love, but instead pursue sacrifice.  

-Cliff

Cliff's Note: Don't let narcissism become normal. 

'When It's Always Winter But Never Christmas'

It never fails, Oklahoma weather is confusing no matter the season. Christmas Day felt like a beautiful spring afternoon, and now it's two days after Christmas and, it finally looks and feels like Christmas.

It will probably feel like winter for at least two more months, with a few warm days mixed in here and there, making the cold months drag on. There's just something depressing ​about this. When it's cold outside with nothing to do, it's just kinda sad. The grass and trees lay dormant giving the landscape and 'dead look,' and the nights come super early. Basically, when it's just winter and the Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's holidays are over, the cold weather just kind of loses its appeal. 

The things I like about cold weather tend to revolve around the holidays, like most people. I enjoy the Christmas feeling, snow, fireplaces and flannels, but after New Years, I'm just kind of ready for it to be over and ready for spring. ​

Today is a prime example. There's a north wind of 30 mph, it's sleeting and it's 30 degrees outside. Every inch of me is ready for spring, but that's just not how things work; however there is that longing for spring. 

I'm not sure what I would do it I knew in my mind I had zero hope for warm weather ever again. If there was no hope for green grass, blue skies and baseball games, I think I'd go crazy. It's that little ounce of hope that keeps me going and keeps me bearing through the winter season because it is just that, a season. ​

I want to look at life more like this now too. I want to be able to look at it in a way that has hope for new seasons if I'm in the midst ​of a tough one. It won't always be winter, and life won't always be difficult. There are seasons and times for everything, and it's the hope of those new seasons that keeps us all going. 

-Cliff​

Cliff's Note: "It's always winter, but never Christmas." ​

Why Nostalgia Hurts

Every time I go home, I get this really weird feeling. It's called nostalgia. ​

It's all over the walls in the pictures, it's in the home movies in the cabinets and its in every room in the memories. Honestly, I'm not a fan. 

Nostaligia kinda hurts. It can be full of people who have come and gone in your life, full of regret or what ifs and full of old memories that have come and gone. It's difficult to handle in big doses, and personally, can seem unhealthy at times. ​

For me, when I experience too much nostalgia, it physically makes me sick. It puts my stomach in knots and makes my mind race. It's like an adventure back to old relationships, friendships and family members that are no longer in my life making me wonder what happened to everyone and everything. People move on, in this life and the next, and it's just super weird to think about. I'm now old enough to mourn over things I used to be to young to mourn, and sometimes just seems to hit all at once. 

I'm not sure why nostalgia is a thing or what it's purpose is within the human emotional palet, but maybe it is for the whole mourning and learning from the past. It hurts, but it's good. I think it's good to be able to mourn and reflect on things past that maybe you were once too young to understand. Maybe it's good to have some nostalgia, even though I think it sucks sometimes. ​

Nostalgia can hurt, but it can also helps, and I'm thankful that when its hardest at home, I am at home with the people I love most. ​

-Cliff​

Cliff's Note: Nostalgia, embrace it. ​

3 Ways to Avoid Awkward Family Holiday Experiences

The holiday season is a wonderful time of year, but it can also be . . . Awkward. 

That's right. There's just something about spending 3 or 4 hours with family members you only see once or twice a year. I realize I'm a day late on this, but after facing the awkwardness myself, I decided to come up with 3 ways to casually avoid the awkwardness that only holidays can bring. 

1) Don't be an adult.  

Literally, don't be an adult. Be almost a child. Not like in a way that craps your pants, but in a way that doesn't know awkward silences exist. Speak your mind, make dumb jokes and eat lots of dessert. As a kid, you wouldn't recognize the awkwardness of certain situations. You would only take every opportunity to have fun. Try it. Have fun with your family and don't be afraid to sit at the kids table. 

2) Respectfully decline conversations concerning salary, politics and what's in the casserole 

What can be worse than discussing you're current relationship status or when you're going to have kids? Politics, salaries and who made the not so tasty casserole. Avoid these conversation topics at all costs because they can often only go south. Instead, pick conversations that are extended but not limited to puppies, Star Wars (no spoilers) or the weather (excluding global warming). If you stick to these conversation topics, you can rest assured that the most awkward part of your family holiday experience will only be holding hands during the family prayer. 

3) Handshakes, not hugs

I don't care if your grandma is coming in hot with arms wide open and you haven't seen her in five years. This is strictly business. Shake her hand. You don't want to try to figure out who to give side hugs to, who to give full frontal hugs to or who to give bro hugs to. Stick with the handshakes. 

There you have it. If you follow these three steps, you'll be guaranteed to not have an awkward holiday. You may not seem human, you may get a lot of weird looks and no one will like you by the end of it, but you will have pushed the awkwardness off for another year. Cheers, and have a very merry, unawkward Christmas and New Year!

-Cliff

Cliff's Note: Don't follow this list.  

When Working Over the Holidays Gets You Down

This year, I feel a lot like Santa. This isn't because it's been nearly two months since I hit the gym or because I've been eating two of my mom's Christmas cookies before bed every night; it's because for the first time in my life, I'm having to work over the holidays.  

At first (and still at times) it seemed like a major downer having to work over the holidays. Knowing that while all my friends and family would be enjoying their time on vacation I'd be sitting at work bummed me out, as it would most people. All I could think about were the things I would be missing out on: the time with family, binge watching the Harry Potter series or ABC Family's 25 Days of Christmas and sitting in front of the fire place late into the night in my PJs. These are the things I've done on my Christmas holidays for years, but not this year. This year is different. 

What a downer; however, while most of my thoughts about working over the holidays were on the negative side of things and the things I'd be missing out on, my thoughts should've instead been on the things I'm getting to do, things like feel like Santa.

The job that I'm having to work is rather 'North Pole-ish.' I'm not giving toys away to thousands of children or riding in a sleigh anywhere, but I do get to help bring the spirit of Christmas to tons of children, couples and families. Essentially, I'm helping manage an event in Tulsa called 'Winterfest.' What's more North Pole-ish than that? I'm helping run a Christmas festival full of lights, hot chocolate, horse & carriage rides, and ice skating. These are all things that do nothing but fill people with the holiday spirit and put smiles on their faces, just like Santa. 

You see, the interesting thing about Santa is that he has to work on Christmas Eve and Christmas too. Weird, huh? The one guy you'd think should get some time off on Christmas has to work. He doesn't get to sit around with Mrs. Clause by the fireplace watching Harry Potter either. Instead, he spends his holiday working and bringing joy to others.   

Maybe you feel a little bit like Santa this year too. Maybe you got stuck working a shift at the hospital, or it's your first year at a company so you don't have any vacation time. Whatever the situation is, you've found yourself working throughout the holidays, and so far, you've had no reason to smile about it. Until now. I want to give you a reason to smile about it. 

If you're working through the holidays this season and start to cry every time, "I'll be Home for Christmas" comes on the radio, I've got good news for you. You're not alone; you're just like Santa, and just like Santa does, you get to have the opportunity to spread some Christmas joy with people on a day when everyone deserves to be filled with some Christmas joy. It's a pretty sweet opportunity when you think about it. Yes, there will always be the things you're missing out on, but there are also things you're getting to be a part of that not everyone gets to do. One of the coolest parts of the Christmas season is having the opportunity to serve others, and you'll have just that. So, if you're working this holiday season, take heart and know you're not alone, and that you're getting to play Santa Clause for someone who probably needs it.  

-Cliff

Cliff's Note: Even Santa won't be home for Christmas.  

When Joys Start to Feel Like Jobs

I'm really tired.

You know that feeling you get when you just don't want to do anything? That feeling that that makes you feel useless, uncreative and flat out lazy? Well, that's me lately, and let me tell  you; it's a struggle. 

I don't want to work.
I don't want to be intentional with people.
And I definitely don't want to write.

It's not really a sleepy tired; it's more of a mindless tiredness that makes me feel all used up. It's like I need a burst of something new and a refresher, but I'm just not sure what of.

Lately, life feels like it's just been wearing on me. I'm having a hard time finding the motivation and creative sparks I need to do what I love to do both at work and in my free time. This is extremely frustrating because, at times, it takes away the joy I have from creating the things I love to create: community and writing. These things feel more like jobs lately, rather than joys.

When joys start to feel like jobs, it might be a symbol of tiredness. Joys should be just that, joyful. Granted, not every day is going to be easy and not everything you love is always going to come without any effort, but sometimes life just begins to wear on you and the things that should be making you happy just seem to become something you 'have to do.' (Yes, I'm subliminally speaking of blogging right now, which is my example).

I'm not sure, but I believe that just like being tired and overly sleepy isn't healthy, neither is being creatively tired and sleepy. Lately, that's how I've felt. I've felt like I'm on my last drops of creativity, and I'm in need of a refill.

So, I'm asking for one. If anyone has any creativity overflowing from them and wants to lend some my way or help me refill my own, I'm bone dry and I'd love you're help. My joys have started to feel like jobs.

Thanks in advance.

-Cliff

Cliff's Note: Don't overflow so much that you forget to get refilled. 

What's Stealing Your Time?

I check social media a lot. I check it for blogging feedback, for likes and comments and I check it for work. It's something I'm constantly connected to, whether it's my Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. I'm always checking it, even when I have nothing to check, It's kinda sad, really.

Do you have anything in your life that you wish you didn't really have? It may be a good thing, but slowly and surely it just seems to take over your life. For me, this thing is social media and the idea of always having to feel connected. Part of it is because it's my job to reply in a timely manner to inquiries we have regarding events at work, but the other part is just out of pure habit. If there's nothing to do, I check social media; If I'm walking down the hall, I check social media; If I'm trying to think of what to blog about next, I check social media (hence, this blog). It's become such an idol in my life, and I hate that. I hate that it's so hard for me to disconnect.

Social media has become the thing in my life that I wish I didn't really have because it's the thing in my life that steals away from so many other things in my life. It steals away from special moments because instead of just enjoying the moment, I become more interested in getting cool pictures to get more 'likes,' it steals away from my work because it's at such easy access while working at a desk job, and ultimately, it just steals away from my time. I spend valuable seconds, minutes, and in total, hours looking at it when I could instead be doing so many more productive things. Social media has made me anti-social.

If we're honest, I think we all have one of these things in our life that we wish we didn't have because it steals away our attention from more important things in life. Maybe it's a job, maybe it's a hobby or maybe it's even a relationship. Whatever it is, it's a thief, and it might be stealing from you. I'm being pick-pocketed by it day in and day out, but I pray that changes soon. I don't want my time here stolen from me, and neither should you.

-Cliff

Cliff's Note: We all have a thief in our life, but before we can catch it, we have to identify it.