Every time I go home, I get this really weird feeling. It's called nostalgia.
It's all over the walls in the pictures, it's in the home movies in the cabinets and its in every room in the memories. Honestly, I'm not a fan.
Nostaligia kinda hurts. It can be full of people who have come and gone in your life, full of regret or what ifs and full of old memories that have come and gone. It's difficult to handle in big doses, and personally, can seem unhealthy at times.
For me, when I experience too much nostalgia, it physically makes me sick. It puts my stomach in knots and makes my mind race. It's like an adventure back to old relationships, friendships and family members that are no longer in my life making me wonder what happened to everyone and everything. People move on, in this life and the next, and it's just super weird to think about. I'm now old enough to mourn over things I used to be to young to mourn, and sometimes just seems to hit all at once.
I'm not sure why nostalgia is a thing or what it's purpose is within the human emotional palet, but maybe it is for the whole mourning and learning from the past. It hurts, but it's good. I think it's good to be able to mourn and reflect on things past that maybe you were once too young to understand. Maybe it's good to have some nostalgia, even though I think it sucks sometimes.
Nostalgia can hurt, but it can also helps, and I'm thankful that when its hardest at home, I am at home with the people I love most.
-Cliff
Cliff's Note: Nostalgia, embrace it.