The holiday season is a wonderful time of year, but it can also be . . . Awkward.
That's right. There's just something about spending 3 or 4 hours with family members you only see once or twice a year. I realize I'm a day late on this, but after facing the awkwardness myself, I decided to come up with 3 ways to casually avoid the awkwardness that only holidays can bring.
1) Don't be an adult.
Literally, don't be an adult. Be almost a child. Not like in a way that craps your pants, but in a way that doesn't know awkward silences exist. Speak your mind, make dumb jokes and eat lots of dessert. As a kid, you wouldn't recognize the awkwardness of certain situations. You would only take every opportunity to have fun. Try it. Have fun with your family and don't be afraid to sit at the kids table.
2) Respectfully decline conversations concerning salary, politics and what's in the casserole
What can be worse than discussing you're current relationship status or when you're going to have kids? Politics, salaries and who made the not so tasty casserole. Avoid these conversation topics at all costs because they can often only go south. Instead, pick conversations that are extended but not limited to puppies, Star Wars (no spoilers) or the weather (excluding global warming). If you stick to these conversation topics, you can rest assured that the most awkward part of your family holiday experience will only be holding hands during the family prayer.
3) Handshakes, not hugs
I don't care if your grandma is coming in hot with arms wide open and you haven't seen her in five years. This is strictly business. Shake her hand. You don't want to try to figure out who to give side hugs to, who to give full frontal hugs to or who to give bro hugs to. Stick with the handshakes.
There you have it. If you follow these three steps, you'll be guaranteed to not have an awkward holiday. You may not seem human, you may get a lot of weird looks and no one will like you by the end of it, but you will have pushed the awkwardness off for another year. Cheers, and have a very merry, unawkward Christmas and New Year!
-Cliff
Cliff's Note: Don't follow this list.