What Are You Afraid Of?

The first memory that I have of being scared is from a reoccurring nightmare that I had when I was a kid. In this nightmare, ‘Little Caesar’ from the Little Caesar’s commercials would chase me around a sidewalk above a deep, dark pit screaming “Pizza! Pizza!” at me until I fell off the sidewalk and into the pit. Looking back on it now, I completely understand why this was so scary; you’d be scared too if a miniature, zombie-Caesar was chasing you around a pit with a spear full of nasty, $5 pizza screaming at you to eat it. That’s terrifying and not to mention a terrible marketing strategy if you ask me.

Every time I woke up from this dream, I’d be breathing heavy, covered in sweat and completely terrified. However, I’m not totally sure of what I was terrified of. I don’t’ know if I was really scared of zombie-Caesar or if I was scared of what was at the bottom of the pit. I never really knew what was at the bottom of the pit because I never got there. There’s just something about ‘falling dreams’ that don’t allow you to ever actually hit the ground. I never knew what was there, but I was still scared; I was scared of the unknown.

Deep down, I wonder if that’s what really drives our fears – the unknown. Ever since I’ve been old enough to have fears and know what my fears were, I’ve been scared of three things: death, being left alone at night in the middle of the woods or the ocean and Cold Case Files reruns. Those three are my bugga-boos, and just thinking about them gives me goose bumps every time. Death used to be a lot scarier than it is now. I used to be scared of it because I didn’t know where I was going to go when I died (Praise the Lord now I do). What’s scary about death now is that I don’t know where all my friends and family are going to go when they die. Being left alone at night in the middle of the woods or the ocean is still scary to me because I have ZERO idea what’s out there. For all I know, there could be a man-eating ghost deer or a shark the size of Texas swimming around. I don’t think I need to have an explanation for the Cold Case Files reruns; they’re serial murder cases that have gone cold because they can’t find the murderer! He may be right behind you for all you know. The point behind all of these fears is that there is an ‘unknown’ driving them all.

With that, I ask the question: Who do we fear more? Satan, who we know has the ultimate defeat, or Jesus, Who we know has the ultimate victory?

I think the easy answer is to say that we shouldn’t fear at all because how can one fear when we know the outcome; however, I think there’s more to it than that, and I think a healthy dose of fear is good because without fear, what reverence do we have?

I often seem to fear satan first. Culture has made a mockery out of my King, and it has turned satan and demons into movie stars that we should fear because they may be lurking under our beds and possessing our children. They have taken Jesus, Ruler of the Universe, and turned Him into a teddy bear full of love that sits on a cloud. I’m sorry, but that portrayal of Jesus isn’t much to be feared. What about the Jesus we read about in Revelation Who rides on a white horse ready to judge and make war with eyes like flames of fire, a sword coming from His mouth and His robe dipped in blood? That’s something to fear.

Romans 11:34 says “For who has known the mind of the Lord. . .?” No one. No one has every known or could possibly know the mind of the Lord and because of that there should be fear, not because He is an unjust dictator in the clouds ready to smite us, but because His ways are Higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. He is personal, and we are to be in relationship with Him, but the mystery of His ways and thoughts should evoke a reverent fear of His all-powerfulness.

The Bible uses the word “fear” in reference to God something like 300 times, but it doesn’t say anywhere that we are to fear satan or his demons. We know what satan really is. Satan is a loser. He’s already lost the battle, and he’s only here to spread lies that he is something to fear when he’s not. There is no unknowing to satan. We know his final destiny, and we know what he is because God has exposed to us everything about him and how and why he works.

I write this because I don’t want myself or my Brothers and Sisters to ever fear the enemy. Whether it’s a group of ‘satanists’ passing out demonic coloring books to children in elementary schools or another group planting a satanic statue in the state capitol building, we shouldn’t fret. My home has recently been experiencing both of these obstacles, and it sucks to see it happen to the place I grew up in; however, it’s important to realize that in the end, Jesus wins. Even when a group says, “The coloring books give children the opportunity to see that devil worship is not what everyone tells them it is,” we shouldn’t live in fear because as scary as that statement sounds, it holds no weight compared to this promise:

“Then I saw an angel coming down from heaven, holding the key of the abyss and a great chain in his hand. And he laid hold of the dragon, the serpent of old, who is the devil and Satan, and bound him for a thousand years; and he threw him into the abyss, and shut it and sealed it over him, so that he would not deceive the nations any longer . . .” – Revelation 20:1-3

Now that’s a dark pit to be scared of.

Let’s love the people we’re ‘scared’ of and fight this war with courage. We’re fighting from victory, not for victory, folks. Don’t be afraid as we fight this battle together as One Church, but only fear the unknown of which is the mystery of our Lord.
These are just some thoughts that right now I believe to be true in my Simple-Minded, Inexperienced Lifestyle Expert life. What are you afraid of?

-Cliff

5 Ways to Bring Longevity to Long-Distance

We’ve all heard the cliché, “distance makes the heart grow fonder;” however, how true is that statement? And if distance makes the heart grow fonder, what does closeness do?

Relationships with friends, significant others and family are hard, but adding long distance to those relationships can make them seem even harder. Even when you’re as close as living under the same roof as someone, relationships take work, sacrifice and intentionality; however, how much more hard work, sacrifice and intentionally do relationships take when you add a few hundred or a few thousand miles between friends, family and home? Here are a few tips to help bring longevity and life to long-distance friendships and relationships, whether you’re out of the country for a few years or just across the state for a few months.

1. Use Technology
This is the obvious one. We live in the most technological age of the world, and it’s only going to get more advanced as time goes on. With technology comes an array of options to help keep in contact with close friends and family. From email, phone calls, texting, Skyping, FaceTiming, Tweeting, Facebooking, Instagraming, Snapchating and so many more communication vehicles, there are more than enough ways to stay connected to those we love (if you got through that list in one breath, props). Though technology may be hard to come by and use in certain places, public Wi-Fi is available now in many places, so be sure to take advantage of it. Use technology to call or write to your friends and family when you can, and never forget to call home; mom and dad want to make sure you’re alive. Also, here’s another key tip– Don’t let technology distract you from where you are. Be present and be in the moment; you are where you are for a reason.

2. Communicate Well
Unless you want to live on a deserted island by yourself with no contact to the outside world, communication is important. The ability to communicate well is crucial to healthy relationships, and it is vital to any relationship, long distance or close, to be able to communicate in a healthy way. It’s important to be able to figure out your strengths and weaknesses in communication, as well as figuring out the other person’s strengths and weaknesses. For example, if one person’s strength is texting and the other person’s strength is talking on the phone, spend some time doing each of these things to so people can benefit. To communicate well with loved ones, especially over long distance, it takes patience, understanding and selflessness. With distance come time differences. To communicate effectively over time differences, it takes patience with your friends and an understanding that schedules are not always going to line up. It’s important to set aside that extra time in your schedule to communicate well – even when it’s hard and when the timing is not always the most convenient for you. Be selfless with your time, and most importantly be flexible.

3. Know Love Languages
Knowing “love languages” may sound like something that’s just for people with ‘significant others,’ but it’s really for every kind of relationship and friendship. Knowing the love languages of the people closest to you is important in order to love friends intentionally, regardless of the distance separating you. The five love languages are: words of affirmation, acts of service, gifting, quality time and physical touch. Some of these are easier than others to do across distances, such as writing a letter full of words of affirmation, spending quality time together via FaceTime or Skype, or sending small gifts in the mail to one another. Physical touch and service are more difficult simply because it’s hard to hug someone when they’re thousands of miles away; however, still knowing one another’s love languages can save a lot of time and energy on figuring out how to show love to those closest to you. Here are some basic ideas: Affirmation: letters, Quality time: Skype, Gifts: a package in the mail, Service: Be thoughtful in gift giving, Physical touch: Give the biggest hugs ever upon reuniting

4. Look Forward to Something
Remember when you were a kid and there was nothing more difficult than waiting for Christmas morning? It was something to look forward to all year ‘round that would start on December 26 and wouldn’t stop until December 25 the next year. Just as a kid has Christmas to look forward to each year, it’s absolutely helpful to have a date to look forward to with your friends that’s in the future. Whether it’s a Skype session next week or Spring break six months away, having a date set to see one another again in the future is a symbol of hope and longing that keeps a positive vibe flowing through the relationship. It’s something to talk about, plan for and look forward to together. This has been one of the biggest keys for my girlfriend and I, as we’ve dated long distance for the past 10 months. We’ve always had a date to look forward to in the future when we would see one another again, and it’s given us a positive, tangible thing to hold on to when homesickness and missing one another sinks in. I highly recommend countdown calendars.

5. Realize Distance is Only Temporary
Even though the form of a relationship may change from close distance to long distance, it doesn’t mean the intensity of a relationship has to change. Distance is only a stage and a small part of the overall story that makes up a relationship. All relationships have stages to them, and distance is just another stage and test that will only strengthen the relationship and make it deeper. Long-distance friendships are unique, and with them relationships can grow in ways unlike any other. As talking and writing become the main form of communication, it becomes easier to have deep, meaningful conversations with the people closest to you because there’s only room for so much “small talk” before there is nothing left to talk about except deep issues and feelings. If you’re in a long-distance relationship or friendship of any kind, I would encourage you to step back and realize that it will only be “long-distance” for a small period of time in the grand scheme of life’s story. It’s a special time that can build your relationship into one that is unshakeable and strong for all the right reasons.

With these tips in mind, let’s go back to this question: “If distance makes the heart grow fonder, what should closeness do?”

Closeness makes our hearts grow ready for distance when times of distance come. Regardless of how many friendships you may have, distance is bound to sneak into at least one of those relationships at some point, whether it’s a friend moving away to college or a significant other taking a job in a new place. Take advantage of the time you have with your friends and family while you’re close to them so that if and when distance becomes a factor of those relationships, you’re prepared to take the steps needed to keep the people you love in your life close, regardless of how far away they may seem.

-Cliff

Why Life Shouldn't Be a Social Media Post

The other day on my walk to church, I passed by some of the most beautiful blue flowers I’d ever seen. They were so perfect; I didn’t even have to put a filter on the picture I took of them for social media purposes.

As I passed by these flowers and stopped to take a photo to share with the whole world (especially my girlfriend) via social media, I was stoked. I was so excited to deliver this newly discovered beauty to my small social media galaxy until, all of a sudden, the thoughts rolled in. The thoughts and fears of what others might think about this post clouded my mind as I stood there awkwardly in front of this person’s home debating whether or not to share their small garden secret with the world.

My thoughts:
Men aren’t supposed to post pictures of flowers; flowers are girly.
No one is going to like this. It’s not something I normally post.
It’s just a picture of flowers. Who really cares?
Men aren’t supposed to post pictures of flowers.
You’re a man. Men don’t post flower pictures.
Flowers. Man. No.

I spent a solid two minutes standing on the sidewalk in front of this person’s house having an argument with myself about whether or not the picture was worth posting. I was consumed with whether or not this post on social media would be something people responded to positively because, just like anything I post, I would constantly check to see how many likes, comments or reTweets I got, and depending on the feedback, it would either make me happy or sad. If people responded well, I’d smile and pat myself on the back. If it were bad, I’d feel let down and probably delete it because I wouldn’t want anything that made me look unpopular left on my profile.

I always seem to shape not only my social media, but also my life, around what will get me the most responses and most gratification. The more ‘likes’ I get from people, the better I feel. If my friends liked seeing pictures of me with cats, I’d start kidnapping cats from around the neighborhood so I could take photos with them. If I knew my friends didn’t like dogs, I probably wouldn’t post pictures of dogs (even though I really love dogs and really hate cats). In short, I don’t post things because I want to or should; I post things to impress others.

This isn’t healthy, not just on social media, but for life in general. If life were about living for the approval of others, then how we treat others, our free time and ourselves would begin to be ruled by what everyone else thinks. If each moment in life turned into its own social media post and our decisions were based on the number of real-life ‘likes’ we got, then there would be a lot of important people in our lives hitting the unfollow button.

Seeking approval from others has always been a big problem of mine. That’s why I stand in front of stranger’s houses debating whether or not to post pictures of their flowers. Therefore, I want to encourage you with this:

Post the picture.

Don’t be an actor trying to perform for your friends because that’s acting and not reality. Be yourself and play the role God has picked out for you in this great story called life. Escape the worry of what others think and relax in the promise that it doesn’t matter what they think. Everyone is weird, and you’re no different. Take pictures of flowers, post them and if someone says something, tell them to stop and smell the roses.

-Cliff

Transformation Happens at Relationship

I have a best friend that I’ve known more than 10 years. We live on opposite ends of the country, but we still talk like we live at opposite ends of the street. Just like you and your best friend, we talk about life, sports and spirituality. However, when we talk, my friend and I always end up talking ourselves into extreme, transformative ideas – ideas that slowly, but surely take form, take action and become reality.

My point here is not to boast about having a good friend. My point here is to prove that relationship means something. In fact, it means everything. Relationship means not just knowing about someone, but also knowing someone inside and out. It means not just talking about someone, but talking with someone about their past, their dreams and their goals. When relationship happens, transformation happens.

Relationship is important in our cities and communities if we want to see change in the lives of those around us. There are successes and failures of transformative efforts on both the right and left sides of the political spectrum and if we come to a middle ground, we can wind up at relationship. While one side focuses on the individual and his or her righteousness, the other side focuses on group systems and social justice. Both righteousness and social justice are good, but what happens when we become so focused on a person’s rightness or a system that can fix a person’s rightness that we overlook actually talking to the person in question rather than just about them and their issues. What happens when we forget relationship?

I’m going to quote Jesus on this one from Mark 12: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” When we forget relationship, we are most certainly not loving our neighbor as our self. On the contrary, when we forget relationship, we begin to live out the idea that “Jesus loves you, but I don’t love you.” We begin to tell people how to live, but not live life with them.

Transformation moves at the speed of relationship. Earlier, I said that I’ve had a friend that I’ve cultivated a relationship with for more than 10 years. Because of that, we can pitch each other outlandish ideas that slowly become not so outlandish. The point is this: My friend is much more likely to listen to and consider crazy ideas and change if he hears it from me than if he hears them from a stranger who is telling him to do something he’s never thought of doing. This is also applies to the alcoholic standing on the street corner or the woman being exploited; they’re more likely to change if we love them like Jesus told us to and if we have a relationship with them. If we want to see lives, cities and our world transformed, we have to be bold enough to establish relationships and love our neighbors, whomever they may be, as ourselves.

-Cliff

If a Man Barks on the Bus, do you Bark Back?

It’s super ironic to me that Easter and April Fools’ Day fall on the same week this year. It’s as if Jesus planned for this sort of thing to happen when He played they best April Fools’ Day prank ever when he “died” . . . because He didn’t.

Don’t hate on that dad joke either; it’s never too early to start practicing them.

With Easter comes eggs, and with eggs come chickens, and speaking of chickens, I’m one of the biggest ones of them all. I’m not the kind with feathers, but I’m the kind that’s scared to cross the road, like this:

To begin any sort of relationship with anyone is scary. It requires trust and vulnerability. However, entering into a relationship with someone “different than you” is another ball game. By different, I mean someone who may look different, talk different, believe differently or live a different lifestyle that’s more waffles, while yours is more pancakes. The truth is, there are some strange people out there, and to begin a relationship with anyone who appears to be different automatically sends up red flags. Whether it’s the man barking to himself on the bus, the woman who doesn’t appear to know any English or the high school kid spitting of streams of curse words with bliss that Lil’ Wayne would be jealous of, there is a lot of weirdness and intimidation out there and to step into relationship with that is scary. The funny thing though is that I’m different too. I almost barked back.

To begin a relationship is hard. If someone seems crazy or doesn’t even appear to speak the same language, how hard is it to even say “hello,” or much less go into a full-blown conversation with them. Even harder than that is starting a genuine relationship with that person, and then the thoughts creep in of “we have nothing in common, so what’s the point of even trying.” There is a point, and the point is that although relationships are scary or may seem pointless, relationships are transformative. They may cost something, but they’re always worth more than they cost.

Remember this: Jesus began a relationship with us.

In all of our difference, weirdness and evil, He stepped in, said “hello” and offered a relationship and every resource He had. It cost Him His life. The bread and water He offered weren’t bread and water that would meet the immediate needs of hunger and thirst, but they met the need of our eternal soul-longing for something more. He didn’t offer us money, but He offered us hope. He offered us healing. He offered us love, and He offered us a chance to go into relationship.

It may be Easter, but don’t be a chicken. Let’s think about this: How can we step into a scary relationship, whether it be with a neighbor or a person sitting next to us in class or on the bus?

Let’s start by saying hello.

Happy Easter!

–Cliff