3 Perks to Growing Up

Let's face it; there's just something scary about becoming a "grown up." Grown ups have to pay the taxes, grown ups have to get real jobs that last longer than 4 hours a day, and grown ups have to take care of not only themselves, but also other actual living beings (wives, babies, etc.). That's scary.

I'm on the cusp of turning the ripe age of 24, and a huge part of me wants to go back to being a seventh grade boy. As a seventh grader, the only real thing I had to worry about was what time baseball practice was and what day the garbage needed to be taken out. However, now that I've graduated college and fallen in love and gotten a fiancé, I realize that being a seventh grade boy is no longer a viable option and that growing up is probably my next best option, no matter how scary that may seem.

As the realities of becoming an adult become more and more clear, here are a few of the ideas I've chosen to focus on to help make growing up something to look forward to more than something to fear:

1) Adults get to do cool things
There are a lot of not cool things that adults have to do, and there are a lot of not cool things adults do when they are trying to be cool, but there is no doubt that adults get to do cool things . . . much cooler things than seventh graders. From age 16 and on, the things you get to do become cooler and cooler. From being able to drive, voting, being able to drink and car insurance rates going down, getting older provides a lot of pretty neat opportunities. After a certain point, parents even begin to trust you a little more and you get a little more freedom- like being able to move halfway around the world or something crazy like that. The truth is, without growing up, doing some of life's coolest things wouldn't be possible, and none of us would have hit puberty. AND WE GET TO MAKE MONEY.

2) No more bedtime
Remember those lousy curfews that you had growing up starting at age 3? First it was bed time at 7 p.m., and then it was be back home by 11 p.m. (9 p.m. on school nights). Well guess what, adults don't have bedtimes. Adults also get to get married, have kids and tell those kids they have bedtimes and what better fun is it to get together with your best friend every night and send your little God-given creations off to bed at 7 p.m. so you and your significant other can finally get some of that alone time you've been seeking after since high school. But really, I can't think of anything quite as exciting about growing up as having a family, wife and kids and doing life together through the good times and the 'bed' times (sorry- I had to get my one dad joke in).

3) Growing up is God's plan
You may have a god, and you may have a plan, but you don't always have God's plan. In reality, His ideas are always much better than mine, making His plans always much better than mine. I may think it's a great idea to stay 14-years-old all my life so I can play baseball, have a squeaky voice and have my parents drop me off at the movies, but praise the Lord He doesn't think that's a great idea. I've found it super comforting to reflect on one of my favorite Remember the Titans quotes, which also happens to originally come from Isaiah 40, "Even youth grow tired and weary, but those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not grow faint." No matter how young or old I am, I'm going to get tired. I'm going to experience trial, change and adversity, but as long as I'm putting my trust in the Grace of God, I can run the race set out for me regardless of how old I get. There is adventure to be had, and that adventure is only going to more epic the older I get as I grow in wisdom and understanding. 

Cliff's note: There will always be life after death and taxes.

- Cliff

What I'm reading:
Wild at Heart by John Eldredge
1 Samuel
the Gospel of John

Transformation Happens at Relationship

I have a best friend that I’ve known more than 10 years. We live on opposite ends of the country, but we still talk like we live at opposite ends of the street. Just like you and your best friend, we talk about life, sports and spirituality. However, when we talk, my friend and I always end up talking ourselves into extreme, transformative ideas – ideas that slowly, but surely take form, take action and become reality.

My point here is not to boast about having a good friend. My point here is to prove that relationship means something. In fact, it means everything. Relationship means not just knowing about someone, but also knowing someone inside and out. It means not just talking about someone, but talking with someone about their past, their dreams and their goals. When relationship happens, transformation happens.

Relationship is important in our cities and communities if we want to see change in the lives of those around us. There are successes and failures of transformative efforts on both the right and left sides of the political spectrum and if we come to a middle ground, we can wind up at relationship. While one side focuses on the individual and his or her righteousness, the other side focuses on group systems and social justice. Both righteousness and social justice are good, but what happens when we become so focused on a person’s rightness or a system that can fix a person’s rightness that we overlook actually talking to the person in question rather than just about them and their issues. What happens when we forget relationship?

I’m going to quote Jesus on this one from Mark 12: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” When we forget relationship, we are most certainly not loving our neighbor as our self. On the contrary, when we forget relationship, we begin to live out the idea that “Jesus loves you, but I don’t love you.” We begin to tell people how to live, but not live life with them.

Transformation moves at the speed of relationship. Earlier, I said that I’ve had a friend that I’ve cultivated a relationship with for more than 10 years. Because of that, we can pitch each other outlandish ideas that slowly become not so outlandish. The point is this: My friend is much more likely to listen to and consider crazy ideas and change if he hears it from me than if he hears them from a stranger who is telling him to do something he’s never thought of doing. This is also applies to the alcoholic standing on the street corner or the woman being exploited; they’re more likely to change if we love them like Jesus told us to and if we have a relationship with them. If we want to see lives, cities and our world transformed, we have to be bold enough to establish relationships and love our neighbors, whomever they may be, as ourselves.

-Cliff