Peaches

When I was growing up, my grandma’s house had an orchard out in front of it. The orchard was full of apple trees, pear trees, peach trees and cherry trees. It was a always a sweet, green spot in the heat of the golden wheat fields of southwestern Oklahoma.

The trees in the orchard were hard to predict. Some years were better than others, and some fruits always produced better than others. There were always copious amounts of apples, and there were hardly ever more than a hand-full of peaches. But the peaches were my favorite. It was probably because they were the rarest and the juiciest. There are few things better than biting into a cool, juicy, fresh peach after mowing the yard on a 100 degree day.

I started thinking about my grandma’s orchard this morning because I was reading about spiritual fruit in the book of Galatians. There’s a passage of text that lists all of the good fruit and a passage of text that lists all the bad fruit. For some reason, the bad fruit always feels like the apples in my life - like there’s a lot of it. While the good fruit feels more like the peaches - rarer to see, but much sweeter.

I think we’re always hyper-critical of ourselves, and we typically see the worst in us, verse the best parts. That’s good at times, but this morning while I was reading and thinking about fruit, I felt like i should look for more good fruit in my life. It’s harder to see, but there’s bound to be plenty of it because God is good, and He gives us peaches, even when it seems like we’re standing in a forest of apples.

-Cliff

Cliff’s Note: Pursue the good fruits.

Helping Others

Emmanuel Sosanya is the owner of the local gym that I go to in Oklahoma City. He’s being in the fitness industry for several years, and he’s also been a public school teacher and coach. He’s great at what he does, too. He brings top-notch energy, encouragement with challenges and cares enough to know all of his clients’ names and a little bit about whats’s going on in each of their personal lives. As a father of three, along with his wife, he’s one he gives more than he takes, and each moment of giving is with a contagious joy.

This morning, I finally asked Coach E why he loves what he does so much. After thinking about it for a bit, he told me he just loved helping people. He loves watching individuals set goals and helping those folks achieve their goals, however long it may take.

As I was leaving the gym, I started thinking about how beautiful it is to hear people say they love helping others. It’s a generic enough term, and I think it can be taken as a cliche at times, but it’s extraordinary how broad ‘helping others’ stretches.

Firefighters help others, and so do teachers. Sales people help others, as do nurses and doctors. Pastors, missionaries, nonprofits, help desks - the list goes on and on. Everyone helping someone in some form or fashion. And that’s beautiful - that we’re all here in our jobs, helping. Hopefully you and I can always find the love in that.

-Cliff

Cliff’s Note: We’re all helping somebody, and when work sucks, dig deep to find the love in those you are helping.

Self-Reliance

The term “self-reliance” has been on my mind lately.

It seems like there is so much to do the older we get. We go from simple chore lists that include taking out the trash, mowing the lawn and getting our homework done on time to working 40+ hours/week, taking care of apartments or homes, providing for pets, kids or both and cultivating relationships through planning and events. Plus, you still have to find time to go to the grocery store, eat, budget and put out the other life fires that pop-up along the way.

And in all of that, self-reliance rears its head, telling us, “Get this done yourself.”

But then I catch myself reading in the book of Galatians, and the author talks about relying on Spirit, rather than ourselves alone, and that confuses me.

How does one does one do that, and what does it mean?
Does it mean only in a spiritual context of our souls, or does it mean more, even pertaining to life’s daily tasks?
How does one shift from feeling like all of life is dependent on oneself, into a feeling that life is actually more dependent on God’s provision?

I feel like shifting to that alternate mindset would make things easier and less stressful. Now, we just have to figure out how.

-Cliff

Cliff’s Note: Maybe prayer & petition can position us in enough humility to not rely totally on ourselves.

Friendship with Dogs

In the city, you often seen people without homes standing on street corners holding signs, asking for money. These days, these people aren’t often as alone; many of them now have dogs to stand with them. And I used to think that was extremely wrong.

At one time in my life, I thought it was irresponsible for the homeless population to have companionship.
And that’s a terrible thought. It’s selfish and lacks empathy, understanding and wisdom, but it was a stage I went through.

I would say, “How can someone who can’t feed themself feed an animal? How can someone without a place to sleep take care of something else?” And I would miss the point entirely.

There is something extremely beautiful in the friendship between dog and man, and something even more beautiful in the friendship between a dog and a person experiencing homelessness. It is a picture and a glimpse into more of what humanity should look like.

Dogs don’t care what we look like or smell like. They don’t care what we do for a living, how much money we make or who is in our social circle. They just care about you and them, and they’re always happy to greet you, each time they see you. They want companionship and have empathy. Dog just seem to understand some things we don’t and see past things we see, without fear. And that’s beautiful.

-Cliff

Cliff’s Note: Be a friend like man’s best friend.

Emotional Masking

Today at the gym, we were told to count how many rounds of an exercise set we could get through in 15 minutes. The goal was to get nine.

Personally, I’m terrible at math, and counting is a part of math, so rarely can I keep track of counting anything, much less counting for 15 minutes. When time expired, the coach asked me how many rounds I completed, and I told him I didn’t know. He said it looked like I was working hard, so he gave me a 13. A fair number, but probably lower than what I actually completed. But after he gave me my number, it set the bar for everyone else in the class to beat it, which they did, and that really bothered me.

I call those emotions competitiveness and pride, and one is better than the other.

But if there’s one thing I don’t show, it’s emotion.

No one in the gym this morning would have been able to tell that my pride had a grip on me and that I wanted to be the best. I masked it with the quiet, calm face that I always have on, and I didn’t say anything.

And I am glad I didn’t because pride isn’t always the best emotion to show, especially in cases that don’t really matter, like this morning at the gym. The real problem comes because I tend to mask all my emotions.

Happy. Sad. Angry. Anxious. It doesn’t matter, there’s a mask for that.

And I believe that’s something we can all relate to. We are all masters of masking something.

Forgiveness. Empathy. Doubt. Fear. These are other emotions we mask.

Showing emotion takes courage, especially when that emotion is called for and needed most. Which one are you masking?

-Cliff

Cliff’s Note: Show some life.

Giving Our Gifts

The other day, I was at a dinner party with some friends, all of whom are entrepreneurs. They’re a talented group of men and women, having started four businesses in three years, and they’re all under the age of 30. It’s impressive what they’ve done.

Over the course of the meal, they begin asking me (as they always do) about my own work, how it’s going and what i’m pursuing in my down time. Everyone asks how work is going, but few people ask what you’re pursuing in your down time to chase your dreams.

The entrepreneurial spirit is a special one. It is a spirit of courage, boldness, hard work and belief, doing whatever it takes to get things done. And I admire that trait in my friends so much because it’s one I often don’t see in myself often.

I like self confidence to pursue my dreams, go out on my own and try to grind to make it work. I fall into wanting security and stability, without the grind that entrepreneurs sometimes face. But I also envy what my friends have and look up to them as they never stop encouraging me to pursue my own dreams. And I think that’s important.

It’s a blessing to have friends surround you that see your gifts, talents and abilities and tell you to not waste them, but to use them because people need them. And that’s across the board, for me and for you.

Our gifts are gifts to others.

-Cliff

Cliff’s Note: Give gifts.

Sleepless Dreaming

Last night, I had trouble sleeping. I may have gotten three hours in total, but even that number feels generous.

For someone who rarely has trouble sleeping, I have trouble figuring out to do with that time. I never have the desire to get up and do anything productive, so I typically continue to lay in bed, tossing and turning, while my mind does the same thing.

And the mind goes to a lot of places.

It goes to all of the things that need to get done at work. Friends long forgotten. Memories from the past. Life in the present. Plans for the future. And everywhere in between.

The eyes go to all kinds of places, as well. But they don’t see anything except the darkness of the early morning and the moonlight coming in the windows.

But what do we do with that time? Do we try to sleep, or fight it off and be productive, chasing our own dreams rather than sleep’s?

-Cliff

Cliff’s Note: Even when you’re not sleeping, you can still be dreaming.

Packing Light

Next week, my wife, Sarah, and I, along with a couple of our friends, Melanie & Connor, will be taking a trip to Alaska. We’ll be gone seven days, most of which will be spent in the national parks around the Anchorage area.

I think we’re all longing for a vacation, but one think I’m not longing for is packing.

Packing is always an overwhelming chore to me, and no matter what, I always over pack. I think through every weather scenario that could happen while there, and also plan on having hours of free time, so I not only take ample amounts of excess clothes, but I also take way to much ‘stuff.’ Rarely do I ever wear everything I bring, and I never use all of the things I bring to occupy my spare time.

But that’s also a bit like life. We over prepare.

We have all of our insurance, our back-up plans and savings. We have excess clothes, furniture and food that never gets eaten. We have a lot, at least in America. And of course, those things are not all bad. It’s good to have insurance and savings.

But something I’ve been wondering lately, why did Christ teach simplicity, minimalism and giving, rather than accumulating, but also expect us to live feasibly in today’s world of always having extra and a back-up plan? Still trying to figure that out.

-Cliff

Cliff’s Note: Pack light, except socks & underwear.

Less Mother, More Me

The heat outside is unbearable. Sweat drips from the brow the moment one is outside, leaving a trail from the temple to the neckline. It’s humid, too. One could almost swim in the air itself.

But the human works.

The human works the ground, works the water and works the air, not stoping for anything.

We work the land, sea and sky, and in doing so, we extract for ourself, and we return only corruption.

Paper in exchange for forests.
Food in exchange for overworked land.
Energy in exchange for pollution.
All for money. All for comfort. All for us.

But what does that leave Mother with?

-Cliff
Cliff’s Note: Take less.

Dying Earth

I grew up around a farm in Southwest Oklahoma. As a kid, I was surrounded by livestock, pasture and ponds teaming with fish, frogs, snacks and turtles. Nature was all around me.

I always loved the smell of the fresh hay stacks after a summer rain and feeling the warm, cool air rush past my skin with the gentle breezes that would blow across the fields.

But now, I’m told that all of these things are in danger, and until this morning, I’ve never taken those messages seriously or given them much thought.

I stumbled upon a podcast today from a theologian in the northern United States. He talks a lot about caring for our earth and how its changing, getting warmer and warmer each year due to what humanity has done to it. Apparently our fracking, drilling, burning and usage is doing harm, and one day, all of those things I grew up loving, have a chance to be gone for good or changed forever. And I don’t want that to happen.

I’m not sure what I can do to help, but I’m happy to at least be more aware. To have listened, heard and begin to understand what’s unfolding. That’s step one. We’ll see what step two is.

-Cliff
Cliff’s Note: God created the heavens and the earth, and they were good.

Broken Fascination

I’m surrounded by people consumed by devices, including myself. Some of the devices are tablets or computers, and others are cell phones. There are even a few books spread among the crowd.

People are listening to music, movies or audiobooks, and rarely does anyone speak.

All the windows are closed, keeping most of the light out, so it’s dark, as well as quiet, except for a low hum in the background.

This sounds normal in 2021, like any standard waiting room. Except it’s not normal because I’m 30,000 feet in the air in an airplane.

It’s strange how far humanity has come in the last 100 years. Our minds are no longer interested in the sites that a bird’s-eye-view can give us. Instead, we are transfixed by screens, pages and our eyelids. Flight no longer fascinates us. We close our windows and get mad at the person next to us who doesn’t. And reflecting on that saddens me.

It saddens me that being thousands of feet in the air in a multi-ton, metal vehicle no longer holds my interest, that watching the sunset over the mountains behind the Great Salt Lake is not as interesting to me as looking at a screen that I can look at any time.

What is life now that I am here? When will I stop to enjoy what is around me? When will Creation be enough, just as God spoke it to be?

-Cliff

Cliff’s Note: Sunsets > Screen time

Time Slippin' Away

The older I get, the faster time seems to go by.

That’s not a new thought, but it’s becoming a new truth each day.

This morning, I woke up, and I thought it was on time. It’s when I always wake up. But somehow, there wasn’t enough time. I had things I wanted to get done, but I got pre-occupied with other things. Things that shouldn’t take long, but do.

That’s on a task level, but on a life level, it’s even more dramatic.

I remember waiting for all of my friends to come over to our house on my 9th birthday. Everyone was supposed to arrive at 5p. That day felt like the longest day of my life. There was nothing I could do to make the time pass by. Waiting those 10 hours seemed to last forever, and my excitement only slowed every second.

Now, a 10 hour day goes by without me even realizing it. Half of the time time, I can barely remember what I did to occupy all of it. Work days run together, separated by clips of time known as weekends, which string together as months and ultimately years. Add those up and it’s been a lifetime, and once I get to that point, it’s easy to look back and ask, “What have I done with this time?” And it’s even harder to justify if I’ve used it well.

-Cliff

Cliff’s Note: Reflect on time to use it better.

Leadership Fears

There are certain things adults don’t warn you about as you’re growing up. Things like how hard it is to save and buy your first home, holding down a steady career, being confident in who you are and taxes. Another thing you don’t hear much about is how scary it is to be a leader.

As a kid, it seemed like there were certain, natural leaders who rose to the top. Those were the kids that everyone was naturally drawn to, the kids who had a little group following them around the playground, whether it was because they were good looking, popular, athletic, smart, etc. Naturally being a leader always looked easy.

But as you grow up, and one has to learn to lead, things get scary. Like when you’re put in a management role for the first time, or if you’re charged to lead a family, you begin to think through things differently.

What if no one follows me?
What if I lead down the wrong path?
What if I fail?
What if I hurt someone?
What if I say the wrong thing?

Leadership is scary, and it carries a weight of responsibility, no matter what the role is. And there’s always a risk for failing.

But since when have the good things in life been easy?

-Cliff

Cliff’s Note: Be a leader in the good, and keep leading when things go bad.

Praying for Enemies

I spend the majority of my early morning drives in quiet. I use that time to think, pray and listen to the rest of the world be quiet around me. It’s one of the few times it feels like there is stillness in the air.

This morning while I was thinking and praying, I had a thought to pray for an enemy in my life, and immediately following that, an audible ‘nope’ came out of my mouth. I had a physical, negative reaction to the idea of praying for an enemy. After a few moments, it hit me - how sad is it that I have that sort of reaction to doing something that Jesus asks us to do?

To be honest, I’d never had the idea to pray for this enemy before, so I certainly felt caught off guard. But I also don’t know that I’ve spent much time praying for any of my enemies at all. I was convicted.

This morning’s prayer was possibly one of the hardest prayers I’ve ever had to pray. It felt uncomfortable in the moment, and for most of it, I was at a loss of even what to pray. But at the end, I felt relief, some healing and some peace with overcoming my ‘nope’ moment. It wasn’t a shining example of who we are called to be as followers of Christ, but it was pointing to a question: How often do I pray for my enemies, rather than just against them?

-Cliff

Cliff’s Note: My enemies need prayer, and so do I.

Jet Planes & Goodbyes

There’s a song written and performed by John Denver called ‘Leaving on a Jet Plan.’ It’s a sad song, played on the guitar, about him leaving his loved one behind to go on a trip somewhere far away. In the song, there’s no end date to the trip, and you can feel the regret in his voice for having to leave.

If you know anything about John Denver, then you also know that he died in a plane crash, which makes the song all-the-more sad in hindsight. But even without his death, the song would still carry its sad weight, and it would still be the song that comes to mind anytime I have to say goodbye to my own loved ones.

Today, my wife left on a trip. She’ll be gone the next week. And my parents also left on a trip in which they’ll be gone the next four.

I’m not saying that I’m not expecting any of them to come back. I am fully anticipating a huge hug and kiss from my wife on Monday and a call from my parents on Sunday, but still, saying goodbye is never easy.

There’s missing those you love, being left alone, feeling left out and wondering what to do on your own time. There’s also mystery and longing.

Being left along and saying goodbye are unique feelings in their own right, and they seem to get even more deep the older I get when I reflect on them, with the help of John Denver of course.

We’re never guaranteed tomorrow, nor our loved ones. So if you love them, let them know, always.

-Cliff

Cliff’s Note: It’s not sad to say goodbye; it’s another chance to say how you feel.

38 Years

There is a story found in the Bible’s Gospel of John about a lame man, a man who had been paralyzed from the waist down for 38 years.

In the story, the man is found laying beside a pagan healing pool, waiting to be put into the water to be healed of his ailments, but he has no one to put him in the water and no one to show him compassion.

After his 38 years of pain, Jesus, the Christ, shows up at the pool and sees the man. After the Christ sees the man, Jesus asks him whether or not he wants to be healed, a strange question, and one that could even sound insulting to the man, as if he had not been trying his hardest to be healed for nearly four decades.

The man tells Jesus he has no one to put him into the water to be healed, and that’s when Jesus tells him to pick up the bed he had been laying on and walk. Jesus heals him.

But Jesus does not heal the rest of the“crowds of sick people - blind, lame or paralyzed.”

He leaves the healing pool and disappears into a crowd, leaving the healed man behind in awe, wonder and joy.

But what about all the others? Why not heal them, too?

This story raises questions for me, as I’m sure it does for you too, especially if you do not practice the Christian faith. It raises questions not only of what and why, but also of how. Questions that no one specifically knows the answers to.

It’s not an answer, but an observation. Jesus saw a lame man and healed him that day, but Jesus also saw everyone else, too. He saw their pain, smelt their neglect and felt the hard ground they had to lay on. And as one who hopes in Jesus as God in Flesh, I am reminded that God sees all of us. And while He may not heal all of us the moment He sees us in our pain, He has His timing in this lifetime and the next, whether it’s 38 years or beyond.

-Cliff

Cliff’s Note: What is time to a God outside of it? But what is pain to a God who has felt it?

Story Elements

As I’ve been writing more and more, I’ve also been trying to understand the format of storytelling and the components that make it up: Hero, Problem, Guide, Plan, Action, Failure, Success, Resolution - to name a few.

All good stories have pieces of these components in them, no matter how long the story may be. Even a simple, social media caption can contain these elements to create something compelling. Blogs probably should too, but often mine can lack that due to the style I present. But still, story. It resounds all around us.

We live our lives, and our lives contain these pieces. That’s what makes us all interesting and all worth listening to. We have story. We are story. We live story.
How will you tell it?

-Cliff

Cliff’s Note: We all have something inside of us to communicate to a world waiting to hear it.

Typing & Scrolling

A blank page is a scary thing to look at in the morning.

It’s a daunting sign of the task at hand. It shows there is work to be done. Work sorting through thoughts, making decisions and putting oneself inside out for the world to see.

A blank page is not often a friend, but rather a challenger, asking you, “Will you rise to the occasion?”

It’s in that moment that a choice must be made - to start typing, or to turn ones attention elsewhere, to start scrolling.

Typing consists of putting thoughts into order and making sense of them. Scrolling perceives others’ thoughts in no particular order. One is easier than the other, yet there is a time for both, because even in order to scroll, you have to type.

What’s in your head is good enough. It doesn’t have to come out perfectly; it just has to come out, one word at a time. Sort out the results later.

-Cliff

Cliff’s Note: Get the words out.

Some of God's Promises

“You are blessed because you believe God will do what He said.”

That was a verse from the book of Luke that I read this morning in the Bible. It struck me with a question, “How often do I really believe God will do what He says, what He promises?”

Often times, God’s promises feel far away and bigger than intervening with the individual moments of everyday life, which is possibly why it’s been hard for me to focus on believe God’s promises. His promises consist of things like saving the world from sin, bringing Heaven to earth and making all things new - all very big promises. All very important and beautiful promises, but also ones that don’t feel like they can be a part of our everyday provision. It’s hard to focus on those promises. The ones like taking away our anxieties if we cast them on them, or that He will clothe us better than fields of flowers and provide for us, more so than He does the birds. Those are the promises I often times try to take on doing myself, rather than relying on Him. Maybe that’s why they are harder to remember and harder to belive.

-Cliff

-Cliff’s Note: Take all things to Him who provides all things.

Vulnerability

If you were to look at the inside of my right, upper arm, you would see the face of a polar bear, a tattoo that I got a few years ago when I was living in Tulsa.

As an endangered species, the polar bear is a symbol of vulnerability, something that is scary to me. But i got that tattoo as a constant reminder of why it’s important to be vulnerable. Sure, it can leave you exposed and in danger of being hurt, but it can also lead to being known, cared for and loved.

A part of being vulnerable that I struggle with is being unknowing. It feels like much of my life is living in a state of unknown and guesswork, but the more I experience life, the more it feels like that’s just the nature of being an adult, trying things out with uncertainty and being okay with the truth that not all things will work out.

It’s vulnerable to admit you don’t know everything. It’s vulnerable to ask for help. It’s vulnerable to be at the mercy of the unknown and someone else’s expertise. But there’s always good in that. There’s growth, learning and opportunity.

-Cliff

Cliff’s Note: Vulnerability makes a stronger.