Last weekend, I attended a conference here in Adelaide called the Lifewell Conference. It was a conference that addressed some of the issues that effect our day-to-day cultural and societal experiences. With that, the conference had a speaker who addressed the issues of porn and the objectification of women, followed by a breakout session. I couldn't believe some of the graphics the woman showed us that were being displayed in our mainstream media; however, more so than that, I couldn't believe how many men seemed unaffected by what we'd just seen and heard. Out of all of the conference attendees, only five guys stayed around for that breakout session, compared to the 20 or so women who showed up (mostly concerned for their sons). I say all that to say this: Guys, where are you at, and why aren't we talking about this more?
As a 24-year-old raging, hormonic male, I would be flat out lying if I said don't struggle with lust or haven't struggled with porn. It's an issue I truly believe 99 percent of all men deal with, but only 50 percent talk about. It's been an issue ever sense Adam saw the fruit and wanted what he couldn't have.
For some, porn is something to be proud of for watching. For Christians, it's a shameful thing that we're proud to watch when no one's looking. Let's face it, what is there stopping us? It's easy enough to pull it up on our smartphones or computers, erase it from our search history and pretend it never happened. There's no consequence, and in reality, it's rare that anyone could ever find out. Plus, what's more manly than sitting in front of a computer screen with your pants around your ankles?
It's true, porn is a problem; However, as much as porn is the problem, it's not the only problem. It's also fear, shame and cowardliness. We are cowards while we feel, for a short time, empowered. So many times in Christian circles, we're scared to even say the word 'porn.' It's a word we bounce around and replace with "I stumbled," "secret sin" or the infamous "unspoken." As is said in Harry Potter, "Fear of the name only increases fear for the thing itself." We don't address the real issues because we won't address the real word for fear of shame and the 'what will others think' syndrome. If we're scared to say the word porn, we're going to be terrified to admit we're actually watching it.
Just as we hide behind our screens, we hide behind our shame. We're scared to tell even those closest to us, whether it's our best friends, mentors or our brothers and sisters in Christ. We pray for forgiveness, but where then after is the repentance? If and when we do confess to each other, we often receive an, "It's okay. There's grace for that" comeback, without any real challenge or consequence. Here's the deal, though. I don't believe there's just grace to be had. I believe there's more than that - there's power.
Just as God has given us grace upon grace, He has also, and more so, given us the power of His Spirit to overcome the bondage many of us have struggled with in regards to lust, porn and adultery. We have not been given a Spirit of shame, but of boldness, and we have not been given a Spirit of slavery, but of freedom and new life.
This week, let us begin to be bold and free. Let us simply confess and say the word 'porn' if we need to. The secret to battling porn is talking about it, openly, not awkwardly. Find accountability that actually holds you accountable. Tell someone, anyone, and just talk about it because I promise, you're not alone. If you can't think of anyone to talk to, talk to me. I'd love to trade struggle stories and challenge one another. Let us not be cowards. I promise you this, friends: We will not experience freedom until we experience fearlessness.
-Cliff
Cliff's Note: We will not experience freedom until we experience fearlessness