There's an 'lol' in Halloween

Ever since I was born, I've celebrated Halloween. Don't ask me how a new born baby celebrates Halloween, but he does. One moment I'm a baby, and *poof* the clock strikes midnight (just like in Cinderella) on the morning of Oct. 31 and I'm a ghost baby. I probably scared my mother half to death after she put me in that costume. I don't know if they were expecting me to walk through walls or be the next Casper, but unfortunately neither happened, and thus, I was a normal, drooling baby the next day. Now, don't take this as hating on Halloween, but there's a reason there's an 'lol' in Halloween (yes, I know the letters aren't in the same order). Halloween is a funny holiday, and it's a holiday people celebrate in funny ways. Let me explain.

I've been to lots of parties in my time, and I've dressed up for a lot of them; however, not once have a ever gone to a party all dressed up and thought, "Wow. This is a great party, but do you know what would make it better? Candy corn. We need candy corn." Why is the face of the Halloween candy market candy corn? It never fails, half of the houses you go trick-or-treating at hand out candy corn. It's possibly one of the nastiest candies on the market, and it just makes me feel like I'm chewing on Nemo the clown fish the entire time I'm eating it (this is strictly opinion, of course, so if you love candy corn, my apologies).

Next, after all the families on the block have bought over-priced candy corn to hand out to every kid down the street except their own, it's time to buy costumes. No need to rush though because weeks before Halloween itself, the costumes are out. Go into any Walmart, Target or superstore and you'll see the Halloween costumes out in full force starting in September. Why all the preparation? All you need is two hours, tops. Grab three slices of bread from the pantry, stick one on your head and one on each foot, and *poof* you're a sandwich . It's a winner every year. 

Got your costume? Perfect. Now it's time to teach the opposite of what's been taught all year. For 364 days a year we've taught kids not to take candy from strangers, but now, for one day a year we're going to teach kids not only to take candy from strangers, but to also go wandering up to their doors or cars dressed in costumes and ask for said candy. What? Don't get me wrong; I lived for this back in the day. I longed for the year when I would finally be able to go trick-or-treating by myself, but now it makes sense why my parents wanted me to be older than the ripe age of five to go by myself. Collecting candy from strangers dressed as pumpkins; it's a strange concept.

Finally, now that I'm older and understand the peculiarity of trick-or-treating, I've found a better activity, that may or may not be just as weird: carving pumpkins. Culture has decided that slicing faces into pieces of produce (that are only used once a year might I add) and then lighting them on fire in front of our houses is awesome. I agree. This has turned into the prime event after succumbing to the dreadful age of being "too old" to trick-or-treat. I join the folks going out in hoards to local pumpkin patches to pick a favorite one for carving up more carefully than the Thanksgiving day turkey. It's an art, and so is Halloween.

However you do Halloween, keep doing it weird. It's what makes the memories.

-Cliff

Cliff's Note: Boo. 

(p.s. Sorry, mom. I know the photo at the top is not your favorite.)