My dad and I used to go to college football games together when I was growing up. We would sit up in the stands about halfway up at Oklahoma State University’s Lewis Field, and we were always surrounded by the same people every year. They all become somewhat of our fall “family.” From season to season, we’d always pick up where we left off the previous season’s conversation on work, kids and life.
There was a guy who always sat behind us, and he was louder than every else in the stands. He talked a lot too, and my dad would always say, “That guy must like the sound of his own voice.”
And I never really knew what my dad meant at the time because I was six years old, but now I do, and I can’t tell you how much I’m the opposite - I hate the sound of my own voice.
I was just promoted to the Youth Director position at my church, which has led to the development of me hating my own voice. Until now, I’ve never been in a position where I have to continually lead and drive a conversation. Public speaking is new to me.
I don’t necessarily hate my own voice because of the way it sounds; I mostly hate the sound of my own voice because of the pressure that comes with listening to it. When one is speaking and speaking publicly, most all eyes & ears are on you (and if they aren’t, it’s a bit discouraging). But being a focal point, leading a conversation, teaching & instructing and drawing attention to myself is new to me and something I’ve never been comfortable with.
So now i’m wondering, does it ever get easier?
Will I always lack confidence before I speak?
Will i always cut my sentence short because I think others are board?
Will I will get self conscience when I see someone looking at their phone?
Or will I become okay with silence?
Will I find confidence in who I am and the story God has given me to tell?
Will I embrace the awkwardness of the human experience and climb out of my shell?
-Cliff
Cliff’s Note: While I don’t want to be the guy who likes the sound of his own voice, I do want to be the guy who is confident in who God has created him to be.