This morning at church, we took communion. Communion is a special time for Christians to reflect on the sacrifice of Jesus, as we remember the body and the blood of Christ; however, this morning, I have to admit, I found myself distracted by the daunting question that I know we've all wondered:
Where do the leftover communion bread and juice go?
I know you may have clicked on this blog possibly expecting some deep, theological thoughts, but I think this could potentially be just as important as a theological complexity. This is a serious question, folks. Though, probably not as serious as reflecting on the ceremony itself, but still, it's a good question to ask. After all, this is Christ's body and blood we're talking about. We can't just throw that away, can we?
I have three theories that I believe could possible answer this question that we're all dying to know the real answer too. See what you think.
1) The greeters eat it
It's commonly known that the greeters at a church chill in the back and shoot the breeze once the service starts; however, I believe that greeting isn't their only important role. I believe they're the ones who have to properly dispose of all the leftover communion elements by eating it all in the back after everyone has partaken. It may or may not be a rule that all the communion elements must be eaten before the service ends, and it's the greeters job to make sure this rule is followed. If you're a greeter at your local church, please, way in on this theory. I'd be interested to know how long it takes you to eat four leftover loaves of bread.
2) It's given to the kid's ministry
Everyone knows that a kid's ministry isn't a 'kid's ministry' until there are snacks involved. Every once and a while, the kid's ministry is bound to run out of off-brand-Oreos for snacks, so they have to make an exception. In step the leftover communion elements. It's a special Sunday when the kid's get the leftover, stale bread and imitation grape juice.
3) The interns get it
Here's a thought for you: Why do churches always have interns? Answer: To dispose of the leftover communion elements. Here's my thought: The leftover bread and juice get put down a shoot, which lands on a conveyer belt, leading to a Willy-Wonka-like factory with a grape juice river (instead of chocolate) where the church interns sort out the leftover bread remains and re-bag it for future use. It's a great recycling method, plus, it keeps the interns busy in their time off from folding church bulletins.
What do you think? What are your theories on the mystery of leftover communion? Is it simply thrown away, or is there more to it all that we just don't know about?
-Cliff
Cliff's Note: Leftover communion- the church's greatest conspiracy