I'm not sure what it is, but there's just something so much easier about writing than speaking. When I write, I have a chance to think through my thoughts, sort out what I want to say, be honest in a way that sounds pleasing to everyone, and think through every little detail of every sentence. When I'm speaking, I don't have the chance to do that. I have to think on my feet, and it seems like there's always a lot more pressure to impress the people around me. Whether it's them liking the sound of my voice, or whether or not they're actually paying attention to what I'm saying while I'm saying it and being able to see their reactions, it just seems so much more intense. I just don't like it.
it's harder for me to be honest when I'm speaking, rather than when I'm writing. When I'm writing I'm not scared of what I say, or what people think. However, when I'm speaking, I'm really scared of what people think of what I say. When speaking it seems super easy for me to lie almost every other sentence, probably because I'm a people pleaser her, and I'll say anything to make anyone happy, even if it's the slightest white lie.
I don't like this about myself. I want to be as honest when I'm speaking as I am when I'm writing. Whether it's in casual conversation, or trying to speak truth into somebody. I really wish I could transfer the way I write it into the way I speak. Maybe this comes with practice, or maybe this just comes with having the gift of being a good speaker. I'm not really sure, but I know it's an area that I want to grow in.
I'm not really sure where this post is going because I'm speaking it, rather than writing it. I'm not thinking so much about my thoughts in a way that wants to please people, I'm just speaking my mind, and hoping that that comes out honestly. The truth is, the fear I have of what people think of what I say or what I write leads to a lot of anxiety for me. But then again, I guess that's always the case. Fear always leads to anxiety. Be fearless, and don't stress.
-Cliff
Cliff's Note: Fear leads to anxiety, and so does lying. Be honest and be bold.